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Untangling the Decision Knot

Big decisions are messy.  A tangled knot of hopes, fears, possibilities, and questions.  Exhausting and overwhelming.


How can you untangle the decision knot?  How can you create a good decision?


To untangle the decision knot, answer these four questions:

1)   What is the problem?  (Not problem in the "problematic" sense, but problem in the "question to be considered, solved, or answered" sense.)  This is your frame.
2)   What do you want?  What are you trying to achieve?  What do you want to avoid?  These are your objectives.
3)   What can you do?  What choices do you really have?  These are your alternatives.
4)   What might happen?  After you act, what might the future hold?  These are the uncertainties and potential outcomes.

If you can answer these questions well, you are set to make a good decision.  My goal is to help you.  To that end, here are twelve powerful insights for making world class decisions.

Key Idea

Power Quote

1. Embrace the power to decide.  When you are facing something important, don't just go with the flow.  Don't just react blindly.  Stop, think, and then choose your path.

"Destiny is no matter of chance.  It is a matter of choice.  It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." - William Jennings Bryan

2. Recognize what is in your control, and what is not. Focus on the former.  You can't stop the rain, but you can use an umbrella.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

3. Clarify the question you are trying to answer.  Look at the situation from different perspectives.

"A problem well-stated is a problem half-solved." - Charles F. Kettering

4. Create at least three alternatives.  Don't settle for the first choice that comes to mind.  Your decision can only be as good as your best alternative.

"Creativity can solve almost any problem." - George Lois

5. Clarify what is really important to you.  Let this drive your decision.

"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable." - Seneca

6. Identify the biguncertainties in your decision and learn more about them. We live in an uncertain world. Don't let this scare you.  Surf on top of the sea of uncertainty, and you won't drown in it.

"Take calculated risks.  That is quite different from being rash." - George S. Patton

7. What would your "future self" advise you to do? If you could use a time machine to speak with yourself twenty years in the future, what questions would you ask?  What answers would you receive? 

"To thine own self be true." - William Shakespeare

8. Ask "Does this decision make sense?"  Check your logic with someone who sees things differently.

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard Feynman

9. Ask "Does this decision feel right?"  If your heart says it doesn't, listen up!

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

10. Make a "rough draft" decision first.  Go back and firm up the question-marks.  Then decide with confidence.

"Measure twice, cut once." - Proverb

11. Follow through on your decision.  Find an ally to support you when the going gets tough.

"If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." - Frank A. Clark

12. Experts are out there - use them!  A doctor, a lawyer, or a financial planner can provide vital subject expertise.  For process expertise, turn to a life decision coach.

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow." - Woodrow Wilson

For more depth on these and other topics, please subscribe to "Decisions, Decisions" - a monthly email bulletin designed to help you decide with clarity and confidence.

Here are links to some recent issues of "Decisions, Decisions":